Episode 14: Quarantine Blues

On this episode, we all talk about how we are all coping with the stress of COVID-19 and being under quarantine. Danie and Nicole talk through how they are processing some tough news they received from work, Carrie talks about how she’s handling working from home and trying to homeschool, and we all use this episode as a mini-therapy session to talk about ideas on how to manage the changes and the new normal we are all dealing with.

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Show Notes and Resources:

Shoot us an email at womenafpodcast@gmail.com or let us know on social media how you’re doing under quarantine. Got any ideas for coping or are you just looking for a way to connect? So are we! (Seriously, we are looking for human interaction! And yes we know that sounds a little desperate.)




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Intro and Outro Music is SQZ by Shane Ivers. Check him out at silvermansound.com.



Transcript for Episode 13: Invisible Illnesses

Please note: this transcript is for anyone who needs to or would prefer to use a transcript than listen to the episode. We do our best but please excuse errors in the transcript. 

Women AF 0:00
This is a mortar box media podcast for more podcasts and to learn how we can help you create your own visit mortarboxmedia.com

Carrie 0:17
Welcome to Women AF the podcast hosted by three friends who are trying their hardest to keep it positive. But I've honestly had just about enough of this pandemic nonsense by now. I'm carrie and somewhere not too far from me and probably in a closet is Nicole.

Nicole 0:34
This is true.

Carrie 0:37
Then ways away from me on the other side is Danie.

Danie 0:41
Oh, hello guys.

Carrie 0:47
I feel like my my intro kind of hinted at how we're all doing but how are you guys doing? What's going on?

Danie 0:55
Ah. Oh, not great. Yeah, it's been a shit show of a week. That is Yeah, sure.

Carrie 1:06
Yeah. This is for everyone for everyone. Yeah, I can only assume. Yeah. I think we've all taken some hits today specifically, right?

Danie 1:16
Oh, yeah.

Carrie 1:17
Directly kind of covid related things. Yeah.

Danie 1:21
So my company put a bunch of bunch of people in by a bunch of people. I mean, almost everybody on a mandatory furlough. Yeah. Which I mean, as a positive a furlough is a million times better than layoffs. And we still have health care and that sort of thing. So I think that's, you know, really good. Yeah. Given the circumstances, you know, we still have jobs and benefits, but it was I think it just came as a shock. Maybe it shouldn't have been a shock, right, but it felt like a shock.

Carrie 1:58
Yeah, was it just You just learned about it today. And then that was it, everyone hang it up.

Danie 2:04
Yeah, we have until tomorrow to kind of, you know, get everything prepped. Like our department, for example only one person is staying on is is gonna kind of need to keep everything running for everybody else. So, you know, kind of just getting all that information to that person and you know, hope for the best.

Carrie 2:27
Yeah, I don't know if I feel if I'm like, Oh, yeah, good for that person, or if I feel terrible for that person. Yeah,

Danie 2:34
I mean, that's a hard place to be in. Just I mean, the workload is itself going to be really insane. But I also imagine just like, the vibe at work, because it's going to be such a skeleton crew is going to be pretty tough. Like I think that people in general, I just kind of down about it, right. So it'd be kind of hard to get work done that way.

Carrie 2:58
Absolutely. When you've got the work of several people to get done, while feeling stressed and bummed out Yeah, yeah. Yikes.

Danie 3:12
Yeah. So that that's today.

Carrie 3:18
So does that mean tomorrow you are actively working or tomorrow you're not.

Danie 3:24
Tomorrow I'm actively working. Okay. And it's my birthday.

Nicole 3:28
Yes, it is. Yay.

Carrie 3:33

Danie 3:35

Carrie 3:38
Fun spin on it again. Yeah.

Danie 3:43
What a weird birthday. It's gonna be it is gonna be a weird birthday and it's a big one. It's 35

Nicole 3:50
Oh my gosh. What are you gonna do now that you're quarantined?

Danie 3:54
Ah, eat pizza.

Nicole 4:00
That's awesome.

Carrie 4:01
That's a celebration right there. Yeah.

Danie 4:03
And I was posting you know, whatever it is that we were actually going to do. Daniel had actually rented a hotel room and had like a whole bunch of surprises planned and he had to cancel everything, you know, everything

Carrie 4:16
Aw, for you and for Daniel putting that effort in and then just nothing. Yeah, that's hard.

Danie 4:29
Yeah. So you know, that someday so far? Yeah.

Carrie 4:37
What about you? How's it going?

Nicole 4:39
Well, it's going our company to it when oh crap what was it called again? Yeah, I keep on accidentally calling it for forlorn and I, I can't figure out which is which now it's just all

Danie 4:54
I mean, is for forlorn right.

Nicole 5:03
It is it is. And so it's just been kind of a crazy like I applied or I filed for unemployment today already and like, yeah, because like my managers were telling us to. So it's just I never thought I'd have to say that. I mean, I knew I'd have to say that but it's just, it's just sucky. Like, yeah, and now I'm in this battle between Alright, I have two weeks off. But now I have to figure out if I take my kids and I do the you know, stay at home mom gig. But I also like just kind of want to wallow and watch TV and get projects done around the house, but am I a bad like, I feel like I'm a bad mom for wanting to just process this whole thing. And not take them...

Carrie 6:00
Okay, so you've got, you've got a forlorn furlough happening. And then you're and then you're throwing mom guilt right on top of that. Hmm,

Nicole 6:12
yeah, yeah. And after that just right, right in there right to, you know, icing on the cake.

Carrie 6:19
Yeah. Well, honestly, I can tell you what I would do. And I was I would leave those kids in daycare notice. Yeah.

Nicole 6:28
And I know, but then you read all these like, newspaper crap. That's like, It's horrible. And I'm just so scared.

Danie 6:36
Well, I I would say in terms of daycare, like you go to a relatively small daycare already. So that's good, right. Like it's one of the larger centers. So obviously, the so already the risk is a little bit smaller. Yeah. And I also had the same thing like, do we keep the kids home or whatever, but what I ended up the conclusion that I ended up coming to it Again, everything is changing day to day. So this is just my conclusion as of today, right, like subject to change, but I think because of everything being so crazy right now, as much normalcy as we can keep in the kids lives, I think is better. So like, I don't want them to be like, why is mommy wearing pajamas every day?

Nicole 7:24
eating ice cream all day, this morning. This morning. She totally ratted me out. So both Jared and myself are working from home or were. And normally, I take them to daycare. And the last couple days I just didn't get out of my pajamas. So Jared took them to daycare. And this morning, Mali goes, Mommy, you need to change so that you can pick me up after daycare. And I'm like, Well, it's not that bad yet. Yeah, dang it. But that's not to like normal. See and also like, it's, she's such a social butterfly, my oldest and I know she loves her friends so much. And that's going to be really hard if I take them away for two whole weeks, especially since the daycares right in our backyard. So they're going to be outside playing and she's gonna see it and then want to, you know, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, just let her play with her friends. That's the best thing you can do for her. You should not feel guilty about that.

Danie 8:30
I agree. And also, I mean, using the time to work on stuff for you projects or whatever, like, I don't think you should feel guilty about that at all. I think that is great.

Carrie 8:44
No, that's taking lemons and making some lemonade.

Danie 8:48
Yeah, do that.

Nicole 8:52
Yeah, I'm going to do it.

Carrie 8:55

Nicole 8:57
Kara, how are you what's been happening with you?

Carrie 9:00
Well, um, I am still working, which is awesome. Again, I have talked about we are there are some salary cuts going on for everyone. But I'm still just glad to have a job. Yeah, everyone's having a certain percentage taken off their salary. And today, Shawn, my husband got furloughed as well. Yeah, so he was supposed to, he's been working different shifts. He's been working 6am to one because they're kind of staggering everyone. And I heard the garage door go up into like, 10:15am this today, and I was like, Oh, yeah. So I knew, and it's, it's definitely a little scary.

Nicole 9:54
and what's next? It's really scary. But then also there's, you know, what is it a pandemic, now? Yeah, and then going on, like, on top of all the stress about people losing jobs like there's the fear of, you know, Covid-19 and all that crap like

Danie 10:11
Sure. And today. I don't know if you saw that America is now number one in the world for the most cases. Yep. Yeah, no, we

Carrie 10:22
We're number one! We're number one!

Nicole 10:23
U-S-A! U-S-A! a and it happened so fast and it

is just rocketing up so, and that's not even counting the people that are sick but don't like aren't allowed to take tests because there's no tests and they're not. You know, super, super needing help. Sick.

Carrie 10:48
Yeah, yeah. So this could go anywhere, and it doesn't look like it's gonna get better anytime soon.

Danie 10:55
Yeah, and I

Carrie 10:57
keep going.

Danie 10:58
Sorry. I was gonna saying my, the biggest anxiety I had about, you know, the furlough announcement today was not actually even the temporary furlough that they're talking about because, okay, you know, we can manage that. But it's more like, I don't know, a couple weeks feels optimistic to me. Like, I don't think that it's gonna, like, we're gonna necessarily be in a position where all of a sudden, you know, people are resuming their normal activities like, yeah, I mean, not that anyone's given me any indication, but like, just from, I don't know, my experiences of being laid off, like three times in a row. Is that, you know, I think that either it's going to maybe it's gonna get extended or maybe you know, the shelter in place will be extended, or I don't know. I mean, who knows? I don't know. Like, I don't know what is coming next. But Like, I don't know, I just have anxiety about that. And I'm always big on like, don't focus on the what ifs or the things you don't know. Because obviously, they're just anxiety inducing, but it's been a struggle to not focus on that right now.

Carrie 12:13
Yeah, because it's huge and the impacts could be enormous on everyone. You know, how do you not think about it? Obviously, you can't control it. But man, that doesn't, doesn't help. It's just one more layer than not knowing on top of everything else. Now.

Nicole 12:34
It's basically like, if anything could go wrong, things are going wrong. Like, oh, you're just you know, worried about your jobs future. You're worried about your health, like just throw it all in there.

Carrie 12:48
It's kind of like the whole world is having a Danie themed story. A big and extended one.

Danie 12:59
Well if it is a Danie themes story, yes, usually the disaster ends up turning into something great, or at the very least something hilarious or fixes a larger problem.

Carrie 13:15
I don't know if we're gonna get hilarious out of a lot of this, but but let's look at it that way,

Danie 13:22
but maybe fixing a larger problem, right, like the one that I have to say is that I think it's definitely helped to refocus priorities. And it's definitely kind of highlighted some of the stuff in the US that we don't do well, like capitalism and healthcare, for example. you know, and so it just kind of highlights the problems that are there and that and I, hopefully that means people will fix them. I mean, I don't know if they will, but at least the problems seem a little bit more obvious now.

Carrie 13:58
Yeah, a lights been shown upon things. Yeah. Yeah, who knows? Yep, so everyone's still pretty crappy. Uh, we actually, we had another topic completely planned out for for this podcast and we end kind of last minute just because everyone had had a day and a week and two weeks. We scrapped it and just went with. We switched it up. We just want to talk about kind of what we're all going through. Our topic for today is going to be stress. Basically, it's going to be all encompassing, that's just a that's a big topic, but we're just going to keep it big so that we can talk about what we want to talk about, maybe get a few things off our chest, work through it. Maybe talk about some ways to alleviate some of the stress and Maybe just I don't know, this will be like a little therapy session for all of us, is the way we're going to look at it. And maybe we'll just come out feeling better for having talked about it, and give each other some ideas for dealing with it. And, you know, this is the time that we would normally do a little break and go to an ad but life has been such a damn disaster that we don't have anything planned. So we're just gonna keep going. We're gonna go through

Nicole 15:27
good summary. I like it.

Carrie 15:29
Yeah. So let's, let's get into this stress. How was this quarantine situation going for you guys before today, like today Seemed like a big turn a turn of events for all of us. A bit darker than normal. But how is it going up until now? For you guys? Just generally How are you feeling?

Danie 15:56
For me, it's actually been okay. Again, I mean, I'm sure everyone remembers last week when I talked about I think I talked about how I had gotten gastritis right before all this happened so I had been sick. So the timing from when we were all you know, started working from home kind of coincided well in that I was already kind of at home trying to recover You know, I think for me, because I'm such like a busy person and I have a hard time allowing myself to slow down and rest I think that this kind of forced a rest are forced solitude or isolation or forced of cancelling, cancelling plans or whatever, I think has probably been good for me. Because it kind of it's been helping me kind of refocus on you know, things that are healthy for me. So, up until today, I would like my eating has been pretty good, you know, all things considered. And I've been actually working out a couple times a day, which both helps with stress and also is just good for me like, I've been doing smaller workouts but like breaking them up throughout the day just to make sure I stay active and gotten Daniel to do them with me. I feel like at night, I spend more time with the kids, because I don't feel like I have to rush and you know, get all this stuff ready for the next day. So, on those aspects, it's been good. I mean, obviously, there are other things that are hard, like it's hard to not go out. It's hard to not, you know, see my parents or my siblings or or you know, that sort of thing. It's hard to not be in contact with people, but I would say, you know, overall, I feel like I've been managing well up until like yesterday, today.

Nicole 17:56
Okay, Nicole, what about you?

I don't know, I was kind of like a hit or miss. I think what worries me most is it was always like I knew some people that were losing their jobs like businesses are closing. So the unknown I think was worrying me a lot and stressing me out. And now that we know I'm like, Alright, fine. Sure. Here we go. But I think I did a decent job about staying away from a lot of the news outlets cuz I feel like the more I watched the news, the more scared I get. And so I think I did a decent job and but I'm well, so my family. So we're in Wisconsin, and my family is in Minnesota, and we have a big Irish Italian family. So we all get together. like once a month to celebrate birthdays. And it's been really hard because we haven't been able to get together. Normally I see my parents every month so that they can see my kids. And it's been now like a month and a half, almost two months and I don't know when I'm going to see them. Again, like that's that to me, I think is the hardest part of like, I feel like my parents are kind of missing my kids growing up and that connection.

Carrie 19:31
Yeah, that's hard. Well, yeah. Yeah. Do you do like FaceTime with them like the kids and your parents or anything like that?

Nicole 19:41
We do. We do. We try and do a lot of FaceTime. With my grandma, she's, she's still spunky and my parents the The hard part is my oldest is in such a goofy stage where when she knows knows that there's an audience. She will be extra goofy. Yo. Yeah. So instead of just like calmly sitting there and saying Hi Grandma, she, like runs around me in circles and goes Grandma, look, grandma look and just like spins. Sure, sure.

Carrie 20:17
That doesn't Go away for a long time. Just so you know

Nicole 20:22
don't tell me that. Oh crap. I weird I was

Danie 20:30
Carrie still does that on FaceTime.

Nicole 20:35
Look at me Grandma.

Man. What about you, Carrie?

Carrie 20:44
I'm kind of the opposite of you as far as the news goes, I kind of I need to rely on it. Yeah, I have to check it like I check it every like, like around the afternoon. I'm like, Alright, I got to check the numbers. I got to see where we're at. What number are we Oh, Yesterday.

Nicole 21:02
Yeah, that's just stresses me out.

Carrie 21:04
I feel a little more like I got a handle on what's going on. And I know it's not good, but at least I know what's going on. Yeah.

Nicole 21:12
So you ever I think what bothers me are the news stories of like, like today it came out that in I think it's Minnesota, a five month old is hospitalized right now and has it? Yeah, like stuff like that. I'm like, holy crap. I don't. I don't want that right now.

Carrie 21:31
No, I don't I don't get too much into the individualized personal stories. I just want to see numbers and data on Yeah, yeah. See the trajectory. where we're headed.

Nicole 21:43
It sounds so scientific.

Carrie 21:46
Yeah, I just like the word trajectory. and up until now for me honestly, by far the most stressful thing is not worrying about that. It's about having to work at home plus have my kids at home. Yeah, that's been like cracking me into pieces. Because I feel like those are two, two areas in which I already fear that I'm failing. Like, I don't feel good about my parenting like, I don't feel like I have a good handle on it. I haven't in the past nine years since I became a parent. And like, work feels hard. To me, 'm kind of new where I work and I don't want to screw it up. And I it's it's really challenging. I'm not. I feel like I'm not grasping things as quickly as I should. I just feel really not confident in those areas. And now I for sure, and failing in both those areas. Like it's a fact that I'm not doing a good job of helping my kids in this completely unstructured time. Not that they help any that's for sure. Okay. And just you know, work. I'm happy I can't sit down and I can't concentrate on anything. Because I kids running around. Well, yeah, and I yeah, I just feel like everything. Everything's out the window right now, everything

Danie 23:17
I don't think that's failing though. I mean, I think that you're it's like you're playing a totally different game, right? Like it's if you're in chess expert, and now all of a sudden you have to play baseball, like the skills you had before are not going to help. I think that's how most people like that's the situation that most parents working from home with kids are in right now.

Carrie 23:41
Yeah, I know. I know. It's true. I know. That's true. And I can think about it logically and be like, This is hard. This is just objectively hard. And I can't feel too bad about any of it, but man I do. I feel bad all day long. Mm hmm. Yeah, um, yeah, I got I started crying this afternoon just after my husband came home. Because I was trying to concentrate, and they were just goofing around and being so loud, so loud and they're so obnoxious. They're

Nicole 24:18
Were they talking to Grandma?

Danie 24:18
Grandma, grandma. look at me!

Carrie 24:26
And it's like, I want to just be like, Guys, be quiet, be quiet. You know, I want them to like, play and be kids. But like, every nerve in me is like, on edge, you know? Yep. And I just looked at him and I was like, This is what it's like all the time. And I know I totally get it. I'm like, it's just so hard. It's so yeah, then he comes home today. You know, no work for him in there. There's the added money factor I talked about Have it so yeah. How much more can we take? No. Yeah.

Nicole 25:07
And I think I think I agree with Danie, I don't think you're failing. more of like, there's no way we can be prepared for this. And it's not like you're not going through stuff to, like, I'm telling myself is like yeah, number one, I don't know how to handle this situation, especially when my kids and I don't know like I am feel like there was an article I thought was really interesting. And there was like six people, they got into a room and they talked about how they're feeling. I think they were all therapists and they were talking about how they're feeling. And one person said grief, and that she is feeling grief in the situation because everything that is happening like you just feel this overwhelming grief of, you know, a future an unknown future of kind of just The unknown is just scary. And it's I thought that was really interesting that she called it grief. And I mean, nobody really knows how to handle that.

Carrie 26:10
Yeah, I guess you are kind of grieving. things, like, just knowing life without this. Right, right. Yeah, even normal things have changed. We've everything has changed now. Yeah. Even if it all goes back to the same, everything has changed somehow.

Danie 26:31
Yeah. Well, and I mean, there's things like, you know, people having to cancel vacations close their businesses, not seeing loved ones. I mean, I, you know, like Nicole was saying, you know, Daniel and I have a side gig as wedding photographers and right now, I mean, we have a lot of friends who are wedding photographers full time, and you know, they're all completely out of business. They have no income You know, and I mean, that is sad just to see your friends struggle or you know, I think like, we're blessed to be, you know, in a house but we've got friends in New York who are in tiny studio apartments. So quarantine for them is a lot different than when it looks like for us, you know, like one friend who's like, I don't have room in my apartment to work out, like I barely have room to move. You know? So, I think there's, I think there's grief for our own suffering for other people's suffering that we care about for other people's suffering that we don't know. You know, for just things being different and changing and this like huge uncertainty, that's kind of like weighing on everybody and, you know, frustration about not being able to impact it. I think that's the other part right is the sense of helplessness.

Carrie 27:55
Oh, yes. You Yeah, I don't know. It's even like the tiny the little things as well. Like this morning I was kind of up and getting ready and I thought to myself, I miss my commute. Right now. It's not something I ever thought I would feel. But I miss you know, just driving through town and seeing all the buildings and the people and listening to my podcasts, you know, just to wind down the road. I missed that. Yeah. Yeah, that night. Yeah, I missed that time. It was weird. I never knew I liked that time. I guess I did. So.

Nicole 28:39
I, I'm the same way. Like I miss all the podcasts I listen to and all the books I was listening to. But then at the same time, I look at my gas bill. I'm like, Oh, I do not miss that because I was driving. I'm driving 50 minutes both ways. So I'm saving so much money and gas. But I missed it. I really do.

Carrie 29:03
A nice little silver lining at least Yeah, right. True. True.

Nicole 29:08
Yeah. So what kind of stuff are you guys doing that are like, how are you guys getting through this? What have you found any anything that can get you guys through?

Carrie 29:20
Well, besides wine that... I'm definitely going through wine much faster than usual. Yeah, yep.

Nicole 29:32
I bought a big deal of like I never buy a big thing a wine like those kinds that are like big like there's like a big jug. I bought a big jug today.

Carrie 29:46
That's awesome.

Nicole 29:48
And I'm more of a Pepsi rum kind of girl but I just need wine today.

Carrie 29:54
Yeah, it's just that glass of wine that just hits the spot right takes that edge off. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, luckily I've been getting my workouts and every day, but that's more of like a maintain, like keeping it level like every day I do that, and it helps maintain generally, but I feel like I need something more healthy to kind of do when I'm suddenly feeling like freaking out. You know what I mean? Yeah, literally sitting there and just feeling the weight of everything I need like a plan for those moments.

Danie 30:33
In those moments, please tell me. I go window shopping on my phone. I go, I go to my favorite websites to shop. And then I add a whole bunch of stuff to my cart. And then I close out the window and don't buy anything.

Carrie 30:51
All right, you know what, I could do that. That sounds good.

Danie 30:54
And it makes me feel like I had my shopping fix and I didn't actually spend any money.

Carrie 30:59
That's cool. Do that. I'll try that tomorrow. Nicole, you have anything you do in the moment? We're just about to lose it.

Nicole 31:09
I do but I don't really recommend it. At least this week and last week, whenever I'm stressed out, I go to a part of my house that is cluttered. And I declutter the crap out of it. Like I throw away. You know, you know, so many coffee mugs. You don't you only need so many coffee mugs. But we have so many. So like, I went through the kitchen, the kids toys, I went through all the kids toys and like, separated out a huge chunk of crap that we didn't need anymore that they never played with. And I just decluttered it like, I don't really suggest it because like it pissed off my husband because he loves like, he's He's very much emotionally attached to things like, oh, he looked at a book and he's like, Why are you giving that book away? And I'm like, well, because we have three of these books. And he goes, Yeah, but this person bought it for her. Like, yeah, but we have three of these books. So I, it was it's good for me, but it didn't. It's not good for our marriage. So

Carrie 32:26
that's a chill like, healthy, productive thing to do when you're feeling stressed. That's very impressive. Because Yeah, like, all I do is put my head on the desk and cry a little, you know?

Nicole 32:42
I mean, there's only so much I can clean like soon it's gonna be I just take everything out of the house, and it's just empty.

Danie 32:53
Nicole, where's our kitchen table?

Nicole 32:56
I don't know. I just I don't know. I'm Marie Kondoed it. Did I Have no idea. Now Now I'm going to paint my upstairs like all my trim is that like oaky color? I'm going to pale white because I've been wanting to do that. And I can't go through any more rooms. So,

Carrie 33:18
girl, that's a giant task. Are you? Yeah, prepared? Are you ready and prepared to do that?

Nicole 33:24
I need to feel accomplished. I think that's my thing is like, when I'm stressed out, I just need to accomplish something. Yeah, so I do it. I go find a cabinet. I go find a drawer and I master it and then say suck it and walk away.

Carrie 33:45
I love that. Even if I still just put my head down on the desk and cry. I'm gonna at least picture you mastering a drawer and saying suck it and then I'll probably laugh a little. There

Danie 33:57
I love decluttering I think is such a de-stressor. I totally agree with you.

Nicole 34:04
Yeah, isn't it

Carrie 34:05
It takes a lot of effort

Danie 34:08
it does but that's part of that's part of I think what is d stressing about it just like a really intense workout. Like it takes a lot of effort, but I feel like when it's done, you feel so good that you did it.

Carrie 34:20
Yeah, you're right.

Nicole 34:22
And it's like, what I love about it is it's you're solving a puzzle. As you're going through it. You're looking at stuff you're, you know, critical thinking of like, do I need this seventh mug? That looks like a flower? No, I don't like I can kind of I feel like I'm in control of some sort of decisions in life.

Carrie 34:43
That's a good way to put it. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Control of something. Yeah. Okay. I like that.

Nicole 34:50
That helps. Maybe I'll tell Jared that. Maybe that'll help me.

Danie 34:56
Yeah. Or maybe just don't let him look through the bags before you get rid of them.

Nicole 35:03
Try that. I try that with whenever I buy plants. I try and like hide them in the row that I already have. I'm like, I wonder if he will notice.

Carrie 35:16
Notice does he know the plant setups?

Nicole 35:18
No, no. But there's only so many that I can put on a mantel.

Carrie 35:33
One thing is that I know a lot of people, a lot of everybody's feeling this stress because I'm hearing it from a lot of friends who are having it manifest in different ways and it's you know, people that are really surprised that they're feeling this much stress over it. And having like, you know, a meltdown in the grocery store or like actual chest pains and stuff like that. So that helps me just knowing that it's not just me freaking out. You know, it's we're all in this together. We're all having meltdowns and chest pains, you know. Do you guys do you guys actually have any like kind of physical symptoms of stress like that because I do get actual chest pains when I'm in stress mode.

Nicole 36:30
Yeah, I do. I get stress pains I also get stress migraines. Oh, I get migraines really, really bad and especially when stress happens, it gets worse to the point where like, I have to hide in a room and I just start crying because the pain doesn't go away. And then yeah, and then stomach aches. And then yeah, I'm the kind of person that I internal everything. internalize everything. Yeah, so it comes out in my body

Danie 37:00
Yeah, for me it, uh, accept my gastritis Oh, which is still healing and it also spikes my blood sugar. So it's kind of a double whammy. Yeah, my blood sugar really hard to control.

Carrie 37:17
That's rough because it's, it kind of does what it wants a lot of the time anyway, doesn't it?

Danie 37:23
Yeah, yeah. I mean there's a lot of things that affect my blood sugar's. Yeah, like one of the things

Nicole 37:30
oh wait hold on question. Yeah, blood sugar like stress actually in it affects your blood sugar levels

Danie 37:41

Nicole 37:42
Wow that's crazy

Danie 37:44
yeah it is pretty wild there's like a lot of things impact your blood sugar levels, levels outside of just like eating and how much you move like how much sleep you have can affect it if you're bloated it can affect it whenever I Having my period or PMSing either of those things can affect it because of the hormonal swings yeah if I'm sick it so when you're sick you have to be really careful because you can get into a it's called DKA - diabetic ketoacidosis if you're not careful, it just basically your body doesn't have enough insulin and your your blood basically gets toxic. It's not good. You can get really sick from it, but

Nicole 38:33
your blood gets toxic.

Danie 38:35

Nicole 38:35
it can do that?

Danie 38:37
Yeah. Oh, is I mean, I'm sure there's a better medical explanation for it. But that's that's how my brain understands it basically. Um, but yeah, so like all of these.

Adam 38:54
I'm sorry, I was gonna try really hard to not talk on this episode at all. But, but a listening to Nicole having revelations about diabetes is absolutely wonderful.

Nicole 39:12

Danie 39:13
yes, I think a lot of people do.

Unknown Speaker 39:16
Absolutely. And yeah, Danie, you know this but I just Nicole and anybody else listening, stress can increase your blood sugar because your body, your body doesn't know why it's stressed. It just knows stress is happening and it's got an elevated heart rate. So, you know, our bodies are these you know, like, ancient machines that know, okay, if we're stressed and our heart is beating super fast, we're probably out hunting for food and I need and your liver goes well, we need to dump sugar into the blood so that we have enough energy to get the food so that we can have more energy to do other things later. And so it just dumps a bunch of sugar into your blood. Just because of the stress. Yeah

Nicole 39:59
because What you're saying is the body knows that sugar helps. So what you're saying is we need to eat more ice cream when we're stressed. Is that is that what I'm hearing? I totally ate a sandwich and Ice Cream Sandwich before we started, because I was stressed out.

Adam 40:20
Back to the shadows I go, yeah.

Carrie 40:23
I like your interpretation, Nicole, for sure.

Danie 40:27
Sound reasoning,

Nicole 40:28
hence why it'd be really bad if I ever was diabetic. I'm pretty sure that would not be good.

Danie 40:35
Well, it does help in that if your blood sugar is high, you just feel terrible. So there is like a physical feeling associated with eating, you know, food that increases your blood sugar. So that helps because you don't want to feel gross up all the time. True.

Carrie 40:59
My worst physical manifestation of stresses is not sleeping. I stopped sleeping. And you know, I've talked about that so many times on this podcast about having trouble sleeping and how much it ruins everything.

Danie 41:16
It makes everything harder.

Carrie 41:19
Yeah, luckily, I have some meds right now that are that help with that. So it hasn't been too much of a problem so far. So thank goodness for that. That's good.

Nicole 41:29
I have the opposite where I sleep too much. But I think that's part of depression.

Carrie 41:36
Yeah, sure can be Yeah,

Nicole 41:38
yeah. Yeah. Pretty have a, you know, a bad history of just wanting to sleep all the time. And so when I get stressed out like, I just want to sleep.

Carrie 41:48
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Just don't think about it for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I heard one tip today. That was you should make a little List of about 10 things that are non food and drink related and non technology related, that relax you, so that you have that list on hand for when you start to feel the stress. So I thought that was good advice. I like I know that I would prefer to just pour a glass of wine. But I'll try to like keep it healthy. And I'll make a list of stuff like take a walk or whatever other bullcrap an idea, whatever. They're healthy, oh crap,

Danie 42:36
what if we make a list? Or have a like maybe make a Google doc or something that's open share, and we can put it on our Facebook page and anyone of us or anyone else who has ideas like we could kind of just create a huge list that maybe would help people.

Carrie 42:55
I love that idea. Yeah, for sure. community efforts. So let's make this list.

Nicole 43:02
I also think we should do some like Facebook live happy hours and then maybe people can ask us questions and we can kind of commemorate all together. us and our lovely What are we calling them? Litle AFers?

Danie 43:20
I don't know. I think the final vote was they liked AFers.

Carrie 43:27
I've never heard the final tally on that. That's good. That's good. Little AFers.

Nicole 43:33
We didn't we didn't propose the just plain old fuckers. We didn't.

Danie 43:38
Didn't we should ask. We should maybe we'll do another poll.

Nicole 43:43
If Facebook will allow us to say

Danie 43:46
so yeah, so so let's do so these virtual happy hours are the Facebook Live virtual happy hours. We'll do them on the weekends do we think?

Carrie 43:57
Yeah, yeah.

Danie 44:00
and carrie? Where would they find us?

Carrie 44:02
They would find us on. You mean the virtual happy hours or anywhere where

Danie 44:09
All of the above?

Carrie 44:11
Well, I mean, we'd be doing some virtual happy hours on Facebook and we'll hopefully figure out when that's going to be and give you warnings you can tune in. But also, you can find us on, you know, Instagram, and Twitter, and patreon Patreon.

Danie 44:33
We have added some videos on Patreon. Yeah, last week, and all of those are /WomenAFpodcast.

Carrie 44:44
Easy, that's easy to remember easy because

Danie 44:47
is is the name of our podcast,

Carrie 44:49
even for me, people like me don't know what the hell's going on. That's easy to remember. Ah, all right, well, let's do some of that. Let's do some of that community actually. tivity dude, get that Google Doc go and get those Facebook Lives going people can chime in and we'll all get through this together. How's that sound?

Danie 45:09
Yeah, we will.

Nicole 45:10
Cool. I like it. Alright.

Carrie 45:12
Well On that note, we're Women AF and we know you are too.

Women AF 45:27
Women AF is produced by mortar box media and engineered by Adam Rostad, intro and outro music is by Shane Ivers. Check them out at Silvermansound.com and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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