Episode 2: Bounce Back

Damn near all of us Women AF (I’m talking about you, too, listener) are well aware of society’s expectations of how our bodies should look. In this episode, Danie, Nicole, and Carrie discuss how tricky it can be to maintain a healthy approach to exercise and eating without succumbing to pressure to look a certain way (and Nicole teaches everyone the exact wrong time to do a set of lunges). They also talk about the ways pregnancy can mutate your body into an unrecognizable, alien form (OK, that may be a tad bit dramatic), and how they adjusted to those changes.

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Episode Transcript: 

We would like to make sure all fans can access our episodes and will be including a transcript of our episodes. Please note, while we try to clean these up after they are transcribed, there will most likely be editing mistakes.

Women AF 0:00
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Danie 0:17
This is Women AF a podcast with real and honest conversations about all things women, the struggle joys, fears, laughs and everything in between. I'm Danny and I'm joined by Carrie and Nicole.

Carrie 0:29

Danie 0:29
my lovely co hosts who are all Women AF, just like, hopefully all you are to today's conversation is kind of jumping off of the last conversation we had about resolutions. And we're talking about bodies, particularly female bodies and the pressures that are on them. And this really could apply to you know, sis women and non binary people and really anyone who feels societal pressure on their bodies. What that means losing weight getting fit, all those types of things. And actually, this is something that's been really big for me in the last couple weeks. So I'm a type one diabetic and I have been for 11 plus years, actually, no 14 years. Let me redo that math. And so something that happens when you're type one diabetic is that you have to count your carbs, always because your insulin is based on carbs. So if you just carbs, carbs, or anything that's produces glucose in your body, so that is breads, sugars, pasta, fruits and vegetables. Literally, I can look at a plate of something. Actually, the other day I was drinking something that I thought was a sugar free, like a seltzer drink. Oh, yeah, but it wasn't. And I and they and one thing that's a huge pet peeve of mine is that on those seltzer drinks, they don't put the nutrition labels so I I can't know exactly how many carbs it is. So either I google it. Or in this particular case, I guessed, and I was only on, I was only two grams of carbs off. Like I was so good. I've been counting so long that at this point I can like look at a plate and be like that, you know, 60 grams of carbs or whatever. Yeah, well, you know, it's survival. Yeah. And so, I've been doing this one particular method of eating where you follow, it's kind of like cross trading, but nutritionally, so like, you follow one method, then you do another, and then you do another and it's kind of like makes your metabolism and your body go, oh, what's happening? And it helps with blood sugar. And there's a whole bunch of reasons. And you know, Kerry knows that for fun. I read scientific studies about gut health and nutrition and anyway, but in the last couple of weeks, I said what would happen if like, I just kind of took some Some time off from like, doing some type of, I don't want to call it a diet because in my head, it's not a diet, but like, following some plan of eating or way of eating. And then the last week, I've been almost like I, like legit do not know how to function without being like, Oh, I'm doing keator or I'm doing, you know, plant based or or I'm, you know, doing low carb, high fat or I'm doing, you know, once you try to just eat intuitively, like eat normally, it's like, I don't not know how to do it. I don't know how to do it interesting. And I get stressed myself. I stress myself out more not following something specific because even when I'm like, doing like, keto cycling, where like, I'll have some days that are high carbs, like in my head, I'm like, Oh, I'm eating high carb today. So I need to eat high carb. I'm not eating like I'm thinking about every single thing I'm eating. And it's like, I don't know how to. I don't know how to take time off. I don't know how to do it. Yeah.

Nicole 3:56
Yeah. So wait, what are you doing right now.

Danie 4:00
Well, I've been following this one method. And right now I'm plant based, but you know, because we're coming into the holidays, because there's, you know, visiting people staying with us, like, there's all this thing. There's like all these other things happening that it becomes really difficult to try to follow anything specific. So I've been like, what if I just take a couple weeks off until nobody's coming in at our house anymore? Yeah. Because it's other I don't want to have to make multiple dinners and yeah, you know, I'm like, What if I just eat?

And like, I don't know. it's hard. It's, it's weird. And like, I feel like if you're not trying to diet and like, then there's all this language around. Oh, I'm eating bad. Right? Like there's a moral component of it. If I have a donut, it's bad. I am a bad person for eating, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is. Definitely. Yeah. And it's weird. I Have you ever experienced that either of you.

Nicole 4:56
I did a little bit I was on like Weight Watchers for a while. And that was really tough because I got to a point where I could actually, like, look at something be like, that's three points right there, whatever. But um, it was really hard because you had a plan out like I love soda a lot. And I'm like, I had to go through life like, all right, well, I need this soda. I know I need that today. Like, that was my motivator. So I had to plan everything else around like these three points that I was going to take. later on. I was at like seven o'clock at night. So I had to plan my whole life....

Carrie 5:39
it was like, you're like, that was my motivation. Your treat?

Danie 5:49
Yeah, actually, remember reading Carrie Underwood used to say she was talking about a diet that she was on and she was like, Yeah, I save my diet coke for my dessert,

Nicole 5:57

Danie 6:00
What was Diet Coke your dessert? Yeah,

Nicole 6:03
it's it's definitely like a placebo thing where like I feel I know there's caffeine in it or whatever but I like get so much joy when it is ridiculous off of soda my go to is Pepsi like if I get a cherry Pepsi at the end of the day, I know in my heart I'm like I did a good job

Carrie 6:23

Nicole 6:25
crazy because a lot of people like would rather get like a glass of wine or something more adult like rather than like a cherry Pepsi but my go to like if I stop or I go on to like our big road trip my go to is like a Pepsi.

Carrie 6:42
And then so . Was that like a reward kind of? Yeah, it's a reward for a good day of eating.

Nicole 6:49
Yeah, and I feel like a good person. And I can have a soda. Like I'm doing life right? Because I can grab a 20 ounce soda or like a can of soda and like, this is great, you feel good about it.

Carrie 7:04
That's good. Honestly I don't I think I've had a life long kind of attempt to eat healthy. I think I grew up in a household that kind of always had to not eat healthy, but like we had all the food groups happening all the time. And I think I've kind of carried that through to the point where I don't think it's a big I'm not saying I'm not saying I eat awesome by any means. Because I'm a I'm a big sugar fiend. I love sugar, but I feel like I do generally get the balance and I always have so I haven't usually had to think too hard about it. I guess.

Danie 7:45
Was there any pressure like when you were in school about your weight or your body type? Because I know all three of us are very different body types.

Carrie 7:53
Yeah, we are.

I mean, yeah, I feel like just as a female a woman You're gonna have that you're gonna have that pressure and I don't feel like I ever felt super comfortable with my body. Yeah.

I don't know if I was ever really proactive about it until later in life. I don't know.

Danie 8:13
When I was in school, I got made fun of a lot for being big. And it's funny because I look back on these pictures and I was like, it's actually pretty fit. I was in a lot of sports. I did sports. I mean, from fourth grade on, I think most of my high school career. I was I was pretty lean. I was a lot of muscle, but I was very curvy and compared I went to a very small private school in the Midwest and most of the other girls in our grade had more of like the really lean body types just very different than mine and JLo did not come out with her but yet, right she was out but like, yeah, weren't appreciative of the butt

Carrie 8:54
no, it was just skinny. Thin is in.

Danie 8:56
Yeah, it was the thing. Yeah. And I have I have never been And will never be skinny. It's just not my body type. And I think that in, in those moments, it was very difficult. I struggled with eating disorders and like over exercising and like all of these things, and at my fittest, I was, I mean, I had a six pack in high school. I did 1000 crunches a day,

Nicole 9:18
good job

Danie 9:20
but it was punishment.

it was exercising for me at the time was a punishment. What I Ate was a punishment. And I did not, I mean, it's not like I ate well, it's almost like I overcompensated for not knowing anything about nutrition by exercising probably four to six hours a day. Part of that was like sports practice, but what I would do is I would do a gym class and additional workout and then plus two hours of whatever sport I was in that time of the year plus I was in dancing and gymnastics and Okay, like there was a lot

Nicole 9:54
it's hard too because those two in general are very, Like what does your body look like? Like every move you make is so analyzed like gymnastics and dance. Like that's so well yeah.

Danie 9:57
And at that time, like a lot of people were like, fat chicks can't do ballet fat chicks can and I did ballet. And that is notoriously like yeah, for lean bodies, but like fat chicks can dance. Yeah,

yeah. You know, I danced Well, you've seen you've not seen me dance like that you've seen you know,

Carrie 10:29
Maybe different dancing, but yeah,

Danie 10:38
Anyway, but so when it comes to resolutions, I really struggle with like that because it brings there's a lot of it's a lot of triggers.

Carrie 10:47
Yeah, that's the number one resolution has got to be. I'm getting in shape this year. Right? That's number one.

Danie 10:54
I'm gonna hit the gym...

Nicole 10:56
Yeah, like with everybody else's what you're saying? like yeah,

Carrie 10:58
in general yeah, everyone else. Yeah.

So has that been your experience? Did the New Year come around and every year you're like, I'm getting fit?

Danie 11:09
Yeah, I mean, I almost don't know if I've ever made any other type of resolution, okay? Because I felt like this is what I'm supposed to do. This is and I, I feel like up until my 30s. I never appreciated my body for what it was actually, that's not true. When I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was the skinniest I've ever been, you know, because I was dying. Literally going into organ failure. My doctor told me had I not come in at the time that I did. I would have had about three months left to live. I was skinny, I was losing muscle. I could not at 21 years old could not go from a seated position to a standing position without physically pulling myself up on something or getting somebody to help me I was so weak I could not function. And I just moved to New York by my-- Well, I was with my partner at the time, but other than that, like I was alone, like my family was here. My friends were here. I didn't know anybody yet. It was brand new. And I remember, like I had lost about 60 pounds in three months, I will very skinny, my hair was falling out. my gums were bleeding. My vision was going it was really bad. But I was very skinny. And I remember one of my co workers saying to me, oh, well, I mean, if you ever need to lose weight again, at least you know what to do. Just stop taking your insulin. And I remember that moment in my head thinking there is skinny will never be this important that it's worth my life. But if you think about the pressure, the fact that that statement was okay, yeah, yeah, that's the type of pressure that's on women. It's okay to risk your life as long as you are aesthetically pleasing to Me. Wow.

Nicole 12:49
Yeah. It's sad because it's so true.

Danie 12:51
Yeah, yeah. And then there's that snap back. on postpartum.

Nicole 12:55
Oh my god. Yeah. How did how did you handle like pregnancy? I mean, you were pregnant twice. How did you handle that

Danie 13:03
pregnancy was okay for me? I actually had an okay pregnancy. Yeah, great deliveries both times, but postpartum was really tough. Both hormonally, because I have other hormone issues happening, but also like, like losing weight as a type one diabetic when you're taking it. So insulin is a fat building hormone. But then I'm also insulin resistant, which means I've taken more insulin. And so I'm taking all this insulin that's fat building and fat building and fat. And so trying to lose weight, while also taking something that's literally building fat and your body is very difficult at pregnancy to that and pregnancy hormones.

Nicole 13:44
And it's like, yeah, and post pregnancy hormones, like trying to understand a kid. Yeah, all their needs. Yeah, and not sleeping.

Carrie 13:54
Like, you can't eat right when you don't sleep. that's, just a thing.

Danie 13:59
You can't even think abou food.

Carrie 14:00
No, you just whatever you're there, you're going to shovel it in your face. It doesn't matter.

Danie 14:04
I mean, I could barely remember to check my blood sugar because I was so exhausted and trying to keep one then, two humans alive.

Carrie 14:11
I remember not remembering to brush my teeth a lot of the time.

Nicole 14:13
Yeah, that was one thing that I like I really learned about praying or, you know, being a new mom, is I learned how to hold my pee all the time. Like, Okay hear me out. So like when you're taking care of a kid, and especially when you're like breastfeeding and like that's your, the survival method of your kid where you can't get up and go to the bathroom just to survive like you have to learn how to take longer time I pee

Carrie 14:46
I feel like I peed while breastfeeding a lot of the time.

Danie 14:50
That works I think up to an age once they start getting real squirmy.

Carrie 14:55
Once again, heavier, you can't just,

Danie 14:57
you know trying to undo your pants with one hand while holding them. Yeah.

Nicole 15:03
Well, good job for figuring it out though.

Carrie 15:04
Honestly, I probably never had pants on to begin with

New mom, yeah, no pants.

Danie 15:11
I mean, I was leaning a lot, so I really needed the extra something

Nicole 15:19
more stuff. Gotcha.

Carrie 15:23
I hear you

Danie 15:24
my insides were not working.

Nicole 15:26
Well. Okay. Let's be fair. You just had a baby come out

Danie 15:33
My body. I had a human being inside of me and then not

Nicole 15:37
Yeah, yeah. And you know, it's casual. It's fine. No big deal

And there's gonna be right right away, next week fit into your pre pregnancy jeans, it's fine.

Danie 15:48
Oh, yeah. And by the way, the second baby who was 11 pounds at birth, all natural delivery. I not only had diastasis recti, which is in and of itself, a big deal. But I had pubic symphysis which means my pubic bones weren't sitting the way that they were supposed to, which led to hip and knee issues. And oh, my bladder was in the wrong spot. I had to go to physical therapy to put my bladder back on.

Nicole 16:18
Oh, it's

Danie 16:20
in that in and of itself didn't hurt. Yeah, but it was like, nothing stayed the way it was supposed to. I mean, even when my period finally came back, like things did not stay inside, I had to wear pads like a middle schooler.

Nicole 16:33

Danie 16:33
Yeah. Until physical therapy was done. Yeah. And then And on top of all that you want me to snap back? Yeah, I mean, oh, you know, make sure you make time to work out. Yeah. But you know, but don't worry about Don't worry about doing jumping jacks when your bladders in the wrong spot. No, no.

Carrie 16:51
Yeah. My youngest is six and I still pee a little when I do jumping jacks,

Nicole 16:56
right. Oh, yeah, it happens. Yep. I get it. I see you

Carrie 17:00
The kids come in here, they come in and they screw everything up. You know?

Yeah your body's not the same afterwards.

Nicole 17:08
no it's not it's really not

Danie 17:11
your hips aren't in the same or are your hips wider? Did either of you...

Nicole 17:18
Do you guys have different feet? I have like a bigger buy new shoes. Yeah. Yeah like

bigger like yeah the hormones and how like your everything spreads out like spreads out to support all your weight. Yeah, they never spread back in like, they're just they're

Danie 17:37
I had a lot of really great heels that I had to get rid of. I mean, I don't really wear them anyway. anymore. Yeah, right now I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna put on these four inch heels and like go somewhere? That seems like, like a lot of energy.

This is true.

Carrie 17:58
Did you have the snapback Um Well let me tell you with my first baby she kind of got stuck on the way out. So it was hours of her just kind of being stuck there and I'm either pushing and pushing as hard as I possibly could for hours and hours which that definitely kind of messed up everything down there everything was like everything that was inside seemed like it was kind of outside Make sense? Yeah, I had trouble

like I would like poop myself afterwards Yeah, you know Yeah, cuz I just didn't have anything like the muscles were shot down there. Yeah, so that was

Nicole 18:41
so much like it is a lot of work to do that.

Carrie 18:45
Yeah, in the end, she got forcepped out. She had to get really physically yanked out of there. So like, a violent process. Like that was the word that came to my head when it was happening. It was like this violent, just Yang. And so everything. Just kind of Let go down there for a while. So that was my big struggle.

Danie 19:03
Yeah, yeah. And I think when people talk about forceps everyone thinks about the impact on the baby which is significant.

Carrie 19:10
Oh, yeah, she was all her little head was all bruised,

Danie 19:12
but also imagining someone in putting forceps inside of my body

Carrie 19:16
where there's already a baby's head.

Danie 19:18
Yeah, that sounds terrible.

Carrie 19:21
Yeah, it really really was. Yeah. So that's not going to leave your body the same.

Danie 19:26
No, it's Did you feel pressure to start working out or, you know, changing the way you're eating? Yeah,

Carrie 19:32
I think I may be always kind of a little bit as it just kind of a type A personality. I always kind of had a little bit of that. I gotta do this. Right. I have to do everything just right. So yeah, yeah, I had to give myself a little time obviously, but I think I always kind of wanted to get back in there and start working out. When did you start working out again? After her

account? Probably.

Two months. Holy crap. Yeah, that's pretty, like hit it hard right off the bat. right but still no

Danie 20:04
and you weren't sleeping.

Carrie 20:08
Right? It was a mess. Fully a mess at the Yeah, yeah. Did you did you work out before? You had before I had her

Nicole 20:16
Yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know if it was like a new thing like for for my for my first I didn't really work out beforehand. , I was just kind of more lazy. But then when my first I'm like, I gotta get back in shape because I apparently have to bounce back.

Carrie 20:36
So it was like you kind of not a thing for you originally but ...

Danie 20:40
you felt the pressure to bounce back.

Nicole 20:42
Yeah. And then when I got pregnant with my second it was like a big pressure because I was like the fit I've ever been at before I got pregnant and then I got pregnant and I was like, Oh, crap, I have to parently get back into that fitness level right? But But then on the second week of postpartum, I'm sitting there because my second was like, really crappy. I don't know if she was fully colicky, but she was completely like she had to be put down in in your arms a certain way. And she had to be bounced a certain way. Yeah. And so I would be like bouncing her and being that like I was working out a lot beforehand. I was like, Well, if I'm bouncing, might as well do a lunge right here right now and walking the hallways. I highly suggest you do not do that. Oh, I was two weeks postpartum. And I'm like, let's just do a lunge right here right now

Carrie 21:39
No one should feel the need to do that.

Danie 21:42
Did you have stitches?

Nicole 21:43

Oh, I see how this went bad. real fast.

real fast too. Like the nurse as the doctor was stitching me up the nurse was like Wow, is she embroidering her name. Apparently she took extra time to stitch me up.

Yes. So I did a lunge and all hell broke loose

Carrie 22:05
Why would you lunge

Nicole 22:07
Apparently I thought I was being, you know, multitasking. Bouncing this kid already might as well like, bounce with a lunge.

Carrie 22:15
Too much pressure on you.

Danie 22:17
That's two weeks postpartum with your second kid.

Nicole 22:20
With my second. I should have known I should have known. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

Danie 22:29
I think I was eight months postpartum with my first and just recently went now a year postpartum with my second where I'm really getting back into working out. And there was one trainer in particular, who is a woman who already has one kid, and when I was doing kind of like an evaluation with her, and just kind of like, here's the list of everything that went wrong, you know, pubic symphysis and my hips, not right, my knees not right. And, you know, I had diastasis, recti, and like, all of these things, And I had to go to PT and you know I even though I got initially the six weeks like you can go back to working out and then but then I was in PT and she's like I don't think you should work out like things are not where they're supposed to be and your bladder is in the wrong spot anyway as I'm telling her all this, she's like, You're making me feel really bad about having a second kid? And I'm like, Well, I understand that maybe what's happening inside your head Please don't tell me that like that. I really feel a lot worse. Like and just because I haven't to me doesn't mean it's gonna happen to you. Right and like, you know, I don't know I just felt like that was not a great way to handle that it made me feel bad about being like okay, I I enjoy working out. I think it's very like, it helps keep me sane. And it was frustrating to wait so long. I

Carrie 23:47
I remember you kind of counting down at that time. I can work out in, like, two weeks or whatever.

Danie 23:54
I did because like you I was pretty fit for where I had been when I when I got pregnant the second time. And I even worked out through pregnancy. Like, right up until the last week. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, granted, there was a lot of modifications.

Nicole 24:08
But still working out, that's a lot when you're pregnant.

Danie 24:11
And I was so excited to get back into it because it feels really good. It felt really, yeah. I don't know, empowering. And I felt strong, which was good. But yeah, it was rough coming back. And I just felt a lot of that snap back pressure. Which I just didn't think was right.

Carrie 24:27
Yeah. Did you feel like you wanted to come back and work out because of that snap back pressure, or because you really enjoyed it.

Danie 24:35
I wanted to come back to working out because I really enjoyed it. But I was frustrated at the snap back pressure because knowing what I know about my body, it's like, I can't. you know, I have a lot of additional things happening. Yeah, diabetes and PCOS and Hashimotos and I had obviously a lot of like, pregnancy related injuries or whatever. And so like the idea of having to come back after that, like It just felt really unfair. And I felt like I couldn't just enjoy it for the sake of enjoying it.

Carrie 25:05
Do you feel like there were people out there judging you in any way or looking at you and

Danie 25:11
I, it, you know it, that's a hard thing because I don't really know how much of it was in my head, like as a general pressure and how much people were actually like, Yeah, why haven't you come back? Yes, I do feel like the people that I was working out with was super supportive, of course, and they were like, you know, because that the workout group that I work out with is all very supportive. Yeah. So they were like, you're not ready, like no big deal, you know? But then, you know, you see a lot of stuff on Pinterest and Instagram and Facebook of like, yeah, I had my baby two days ago. Look at my it's like, how is that physically possible? Did you Photoshop the baby into this picture? Yes, Yes, I did. Yeah. So I don't know. Have either of you. Kenya kind of looping back to resolutions Have either of you ever felt the pressure to make a resolution around body? stuff?

Carrie 26:08
Yeah, I feel like younger me, like before kids me that was probably often my resolution. You know, I'm going to work out so hard this year I'm going to like hit the gym every day and

not necessarily who I am. So what was I doing? But yeah, you just feel like you've got to look good.

Nicole 26:30
Yeah, for me to like, especially where I currently work. There's like a facility where you can work out at and a lot of my co workers work out. And so I felt like, not judged but like being told, not even being told. But like, not taking time to work out when like, at my work, it's right there. might as well do you It can be. Yeah. Which is fine. But also, I mean, it's a lot to work out. Like it's a mental state. It's a you don't know what you're going to do in your workout you don't know.

Carrie 27:13

gym atmosphere is just not everyone's jam. Right? Right. It's not a lot of people's jam, right. So,

Nicole 27:24
and what's really hard, especially where I currently work is like the gym there. You like everyone that goes there is a co worker. So you could be working out and you could be like, in this, you have to wear these certain cute clothes because everyone's gonna be watching you. Everyone's gonna be looking at you. At least in my perspective, they're probably not okay, but like, like, you don't know who's gonna be, you know, turning the corner and could be wrong hearing you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it could be like, Oh, hey, boss, man. Hey, what's up, but it's just it's just another layer.

Danie 27:59
That was awkwardness. Yeah,

Nicole 28:01
and deterrent, which it shouldn't be because he should be working out for you and for like improving or making you feel more healthy or whatever. How do you guys talk about working out or whatever with kids like having kids? What is your philosophy between like, talking to them about it?

Carrie 28:22
Well, you guys know me, I like to work out a lot. And it's kind of a part of my life. And so I want my kids to see that I want to kind of model that for them to be like, Look, this is what I do every day to kind of stay in touch with my body and keep it healthy. I don't I don't think I pressure them in any way. Yeah, but I think they have picked up on it a little bit, which I love. my six year old will do. He's like mom and do push ups. I'm like, great. So like, I like doing push ups. For me. I think that's really cool. So I'm glad to be able to kind of model that for them. I'm just hoping I'm not pushing myself. Dad was a gym teacher. Oh, really? Yeah, middle school gym teacher and people would like, students would always be like, does your dad make you like run a mile? Or does he make exercise and I know, that's crazy. My dad, like, was awesome. He never pushed me to work out anyway, if I didn't want to do it, and he he kind of honored who I was. And at that time, that was not my thing at all. Right. So I think, you know, hopefully I've gotten that from my dad is like, just because it's my value. It shouldn't be theirs, but it's good to model that behavior.

Danie 29:31
Yeah, yeah. And I'm similar in that, you know, I try to just model it Yeah. And like, the other day Nov, I had a gymnastics class, Daniel and I was the teacher and she's like, Okay, now we're gonna, you know, point our toes and we're going to stretch this okay. And we're going to do the butterfly stretch and you know, so we just like let her teach and it was really it was a it was a fun moment. I think for all of us. had nine pm when she should have been in bed an hour ago weren't necessarily ready to start, like, jumping around ding ding is like, Okay, I guess we're doing this, um, you know, and so I think my approach has been like, let's just make it really fun. That's fine, you know, physical activities that she enjoys. It doesn't have to be like working out per se gymnastics. It could be like, let's take turns, like when, you know, she was hanging out with your daughter. And it was like, how many who can jump the most? Like they just had their jumping and they wanted us to count you know? Yeah. So, you know, for me, it's more just like, physic. Being active and loving your body should just be something that you do. It doesn't have to be working out per se, right? Like some people want to be in the gym. They want to do heavy weights, they want whatever Some people love cardio, some people love running, but I think the thing for me has just been if I love my body, then I will move it. Whatever that means. Oh, yeah, no, maybe Park at the end of a parking on and just walk a little extra take the stairs instead of the elevator or whatever. Yeah. You know, so just trying to teach her like it's important that you love your body. And in doing in loving something you take care of it. Yeah, that's my What are you doing? with your kids?

Nicole 31:18
Oh, I'm I, I don't really know. I haven't I haven't fully figured out how to talk to them about it. Because thankfully for me like I do have the luxury of working out while I'm at work. So I don't really introduce her, my two kids to that. But I like my oldest. I have no problem like she loves to just run around, do whatever she wants. We watch shows like we watch this Netflix show with a horse and she

Carrie 31:58
Is it Bojack Horseman?

Danie 32:01
This seems really kid-appropriate.

Nicole 32:03
But she like she will be watching the show and then just like, run around our house pretending like the horse, the episode that she watches, the horses like taken away or like gets lost or something like that. And she like runs around our house in circles like, Where's the horse? Where's the horse? like she reenacts the scene that happens and she's like, I'm gonna find you and she like starts running around the house over and over and over again.

Carrie 32:34
Yeah, it's so easy for kids to be. They just they love it. running and jumping and moving.

Danie 32:40
Well, they don't have to sit down all day.

Carrie 32:42

Danie 32:43
This is true. You know how much I feel like it's a really big core workout to pretend to be a horse like with your kid. Yeah. I'm like jump on your back and be like mommy be a horse

Carrie 32:53
That's a good point

Danie 32:54
it's like it's a workout. And, you know, I you know, I trot to her bedroom or whatever and Oh man, like this horse needs to stand up because I am done.

Carrie 33:06
Well, that's one thing we can learn from kids is like, get fit while l we play like, come one, what's fun for us?

Danie 33:13
Have you ever seen the like YouTube videos about like, toddlers leading a ballet class or the dance class like the dancers just like, literally copy the toddler know, it's hilarious. And also seems like a really intense workout. Yeah.

Nicole 33:28
I bet

Danie 33:30
There's a lot of energy.

Carrie 33:31
Yeah. Oh, I remember you saying how -- maybe it wasn't you, but how your kids would just like or Nova would just squat constantly. Yes. Was that you?

Danie 33:41
Yeah, she preferred to just squat instead of like sitting or sitting and you know, just like, hold it for like straight minutes to watch, like a cartoon or whatever. And it was just like, wow, like the legs on this kid.

Nicole 33:53
Yeah, no kidding.

Danie 33:56
It's crazy. So really, the takeaway is that at work tomorrow, we should just all squat

Nicole 34:03
Just all the time.

Carrie 34:07
Can I put my computer on the floor, cuz I'm gonna squat all day.

Danie 34:10
That's fine. Ignore

Nicole 34:12
we crab crawl to our meeting

Danie 34:17
Yeah right, or bear crawl.

Carrie 34:22
Oooh, I'm in

Danie 34:25
I used to work with this guy that would sit on like a yoga ball. But you have to have a lot of self confidence. to be like I'm just gonna throw away my office chair and sit on a yoga ball, no big deal

Carrie 34:36
Yeah. I worked someone who did that. And you could hear it like squeaking a lot. Stop. Get off the ball

Danie 34:45
I swear it wasn't me farting guys, it was the ball

Nicole 34:47
Yeah, do you guys have -- I have horrible posture. Like you can tell when I'm tired and it's almost time to go when I'm like lower in my seat to the point where I can barely see my computer. I'm like, hello, super low,

Danie 35:01
yes, I got a standing desk at work. Oh no when I was pregnant because of the hip situation. Yeah. And there's somebody else that sits in my area that has a standing desk and she stands all the time. Yeah. And every time she stands I'm like I should probably standing I don't use it as much as I think I should. Okay. Yeah, part of it is like if I'm eating or drinking I'm like, if I stand up I'm going to spill on myself. And part of it is like I already sat down I want to raise this up now. Yeah, for it is and then you know, you everyone's looking at you Not that I really care so much about that. But then I feel like everyone's looking at my computer. If I'm doing anything shady, I got Facebook over and or whatever. Not that I ever do. Never do never do that. But what really notice Yeah, if that happened,

Nicole 35:52
well, it's Yeah, yeah. I hear you. I hear you. That is super awkward.

Carrie 36:00
You're super awkward.

Nicole 36:01
Always, really awkward. I was homeschooled, so being awkward is like, in my blood.

Danie 36:11
That's actually a good question being homeschooled because when you go to school you sit all day. Yes. So what was it like being homeschooled? Did you sit all day or like, get up and move around a lot?

Nicole 36:22
No, I had a different situation with homeschool. So okay. So for a long time my mom was is amazing. And she homeschooled us. We would do these co ops. So like once a week, we would go to like school settings and these like retired school people or these moms who would be stay at home moms, they would come and volunteer certain times where, like, all of their kids could go and take a class. So once a week I was a legit school person, um, but every other time No, it was Like, you wake up when you wake up, and you would just like, lay on the ground and do your math homework or, like ground Yeah. Or like my science projects would be like, go work on the car with my dad. Like That was my science. I learned about cars I learned about like, cold because I was in Minnesota. Like I was just learned about.

Danie 37:22
We're gonna learn about cold, go outside.

Nicole 37:26
Learn go look at ice. That's your science. No, but yeah, it was a lot of like, I yeah, I never really had to sit in a desk and physically be there.

Danie 37:39
So how was that transition then when you went to school? Like where you had to sit? Was that a tough transition?

Nicole 37:45
That was tough. It was it was less about like the physical situations and was more about like, because being homeschooled, it was just like me and my brother. And that was it. And now I had like so many other kids because I went to Public School. So a public high school. So everyone else around me was like -- there was lots of people.

Danie 38:09
Did that change like your pressure on like physical appearance.

Nicole 38:13
It did. Because like when you're being homeschooled and being just me and my brother, like I never really was super aware of my body I was never aware of, like, my height. I'm really short, never like really aware of all that stuff. Because it was just me my brother and I knew that no matter what my brother would be there, you love me, you'd be there to support me, whatever. But then when I went into public school, it was like, I had to wear a certain clothes. I had to wear like, these super low cut jeans when my body was not low cut jeans appropriate. And it was it was definitely a learning curve, because I was in soccer. So it was all about like, How fast can you run how fast Like how much your abs were like we would literally have AB contest. Oh, were like the captain, the soccer team. She had a full on six pack. It was amazing.

Yeah. But we were like freshman in high school. So it was crazy. And everyone was like, trying to make sure that everyone was level the same and all that stuff. So

Carrie 39:24
So that's the age you went into public school?

Nicole 39:28
ninth grade. So that's a very rough time.

Carrie 39:32
A very tough age. to start taking on all that extra like you feel like all eyes are on you.

Nicole 39:37
Yeah, when they weren't. Because and then what was different too is for like two years prior to when I went into public school, my mom had to go back to work. And so my dad was technically my teacher. However, he didn't really teach me that much like he was a substitute teacher. So a lot of times he was out and about and I was alone. So for two years, I was kind of like, doing math homework by myself. I was totally in my own bubble. And then I got thrown into public school and ninth grade where like, I had to figure out who people were when everyone knew who everyone was. had to figure out like, Oh, well, apparently, I have to wear these certain jeans. I had to like be this skinny or Wow, I didn't realize I had to look at my hair all the time. But apparently, and

Danie 40:34
that's just as a teenage girl anyway. Yeah. You know, to add on all these other factors. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Nicole 40:43
What I do really like about that and I try to model it with my own kids. But my mom was really really good about she was always worried about her weight. But she was super like, she would talk about being healthy like she never really said I want to be skinny, she was always like, I want to eat healthy, or I want to be healthy and do this workout, or all that stuff. So when I went into public school in that timeframe, I never really thought like, I needed to be skinny. I was always in the mindset, like, Am I healthy? Like, am I doing things that was healthy in the way that I was?

Carrie 41:25
Yeah, yeah, that's maybe a subtle way. A subtle difference. Healthy, skinny, but yeah, but it makes a huge difference

Danie 41:34
Yeah. Yeah, well, that On this episode, I think that's a great way to end it. We'd love to hear from you. I mean, this is a loaded topic. You know, body thoughts about resolutions and, you know, all of that. So, if you have ideas or thoughts, we'd love to hear from you on all the socials, Women AF podcast, Women AF podcast.com, Patreon. All the places, everything everything. And we are Women AF and we hope you are to.

Carrie 42:16
Women AF is produced by mortar box media and engineered by Adam Rostad intro and outro music is SQZ by Shane ivers, check him out at Silverman sound.com and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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