Episode 7: We <3 You!

Happy Valentine’s Day! In true Women AF style, our feelings for this holiday are complicated — do we want flowers and chocolates, or do we say screw the sappy stuff and just eat pizza and watch a horror movie?

In this episode, we talk about exes, past Valentine’s Days we’ve had, and how the awkwardness has often outweighed the romance. And Nicole mixes up technology in an awesome way and makes us all laugh.

Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re Women AF and we know you are too <3

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Women AF is produced by Mortar Box Media and Engineered by Adam Rostad. 

Intro and Outro Music is SQZ by Shane Ivers. Check him out at silvermansound.com


Transcript for Episode 7: We <3 You:

Women AF 0:00
This is a mortar box media podcast for more podcasts and to learn how we can help you create your own visit mortarboxmedia.com.

Nicole 0:17
Welcome to women asked the podcast hosted by three friends who have bonded over entrepreneurial dreams potty training gone wrong, and dreams of dismantling the patriarchy. Oh, and murder podcasts, duh.

I'm your host, Nicole. I got with me our co-host, Carrie and Danie.

This is my episode. second episode where I'm hosting and holy moly. That was a lot better than my first one

Carrie 0:48
That was perfect, I liked your first one too though.

Nicole 0:52
We'll get there we're learning. So hi, guys. I feel like it's been a long time. I'm so excited to see you.

Danie 1:00
It has been, we're not allowed to tell each other stories anymore. There's so much.

Adam 1:06
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interject right away. I was actually listening to the episode that came out today as we're recording this the third episode came on today. And somebody said, Adam, said we can't talk to each other at all.

And that is not what I meant, you guys can still like text and be friends. It's just save some stuff. Well,

Nicole 1:22
That's true. You did.

Danie 1:31
honestly, I was just looking at it as an out to not have to talk to you guys anymore. I see you coming, I say Adam told me to hide

Nicole 1:45
You have do not disturb on your phone.

Danie 1:48
Whenever you call. it says do not pick up. All right, well,

Nicole 1:55
I mean, that's a good transition, we launched our third episode. And this is the First time we've really hung out since we are official.

Danie 2:04
Yeah, yeah, that's true. You're right.

Carrie 2:06
I've missed you guys.

Danie 2:08
we missed you too. Also the holidays and you know, all that stuff. Yeah, just kind of, you know, crazy. Yeah. So and I feel like it goes a lot longer than holidays go a lot longer than just the holidays. I feel like they're like weeks before and after.

Carrie 2:22
Yeah, not done yet. I got two more, I think. Holy cow. Oh, I know.

Nicole 2:28
I had five Christmases. When I took down my Christmas tree. My oldest daughter was sad. And she still is sad. But she goes, I miss Christmas.

Yeah, but we're official. Now. We are official we. And we just wanted to take a minute to say thank you. For everybody who's listening. I kind of forget that people actually listen to this. Like it feels like we're just chatting. And I forget that people are listening so it's really really sweet that people are reaching out. I know for me, a couple of people have reached out and said that they really enjoyed it and they liked it and the amount of support we've received already has been really

Carrie 3:11
Yeah, people have been so supportive and so sweet.

Danie 3:15
Yeah, I feel like every time somebody shares something or sends us a message I'm like, people are commenting. And, and that's why we drink liked one of our tweets

Carrie 3:26
No, two of our tweets

Danie 3:27
Two of our tweets!. Which if you haven't caught on by the point that you're here in this episode, I in particular fangirl over and that's why we drink a lot. It's another podcast. And you know yeah, I guess you could say obsessed. I actually didn't listen to any other podcast for a long time. I was listening to them --dedication had to go from the beginning and listen to everything.

Carrie 3:59
Some day people will be saying these things about our podcast.

Danie 4:06
That's like, my mind is like whoo

Nicole 4:08
Do you think people can tell us apart from each other. Like our voices apart?

Danie 4:15
I think so I don't think we sound at all like

Carrie 4:17
One of my friends said that one of you does sound like me and I think two of my friends said, one of you guys sounds like me

Danie 4:29
I mean, I think when people see us on the street, there's no way they could tell the difference that we know triplets.

Nicole 4:33
right. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 4:38
Oh dear. Alright, so tell me something that's been happening with you guys. Carrie, what's been happening?

Carrie 4:43
Well, let's see. It's been a few weeks since I've seen you guys. Um, there is one thing that has been going crazy in our house lately that I've been kind of wanting to tell you about. My son has started having these crazy sleepwalking night terrors. It's been like three weeks now. Maybe

Nicole 5:06
Wait, sleep walking? What does he do?

Carrie 5:07
Sleep walking and night terrors at the same the same time. Yeah. And everything I google on this is like one or the other. But he's doing both for sure. He wakes up. He's super agitated, he gets up, he gets out of bed. He's walking. He's like walking around. It's like he's looking for something. And he's so scared. Oh, my he's terrified. He's shaking. But some of it doesn't make sense. He'll be like, hey, I want my mom and dad and we're like, right here, right here. But he doesn't, you know, yeah, he's kind of interacting with us, but right, not fully. He's asleep and he's seeing something and he's, His heart is pounding and he's shaking and it's really hard to like, get him back to bed or to wake him up or anything. It's just

Nicole 5:08
what time of night is this?

Carrie 5:21
It's usually within an hour or two after he falls asleep.

Danie 5:58
Oh, no, does he do it multiple times? Or is it usually just the once

Carrie 6:03
He's done it a couple times. He's done it multiple times at night. He did it three times one night.

Danie 6:08
Have you talked to his doctor?

Carrie 6:09
Yeah, just today, actually. And they're kind of like, there's nothing really you can do. They have to grow out of it on Yeah. And it's horrible. It's like, most nights now, I would say. And it's so upsetting.

Adam 6:22
I grew out of it.

Carrie 6:23
You had it?

Adam 6:26
Not sleepwalking. I used to, I used to stop breathing in my sleep, sleep apnea. But actually, I don't think it was sleep apnea because it's night terrors also caused you to not be able to breathe, so I used to wake up and not be able to move and not be able to breathe it's sleep paralysis, which which is like a super form of night terrors, basically, sleep paralysis, and I would have to, I would have to like sit there for minutes at a time and then finally forced myself to breathe. But the reason that I say night terrors is because I would also see people in my room.

Danie 7:00
I've heard that can happen with sleep paralysis, because you're like in that middle....

Adam 7:04
dark shadowy figures. Yeah. Oh, yeah. when times were you know, those like spiral graph like paint things that the paper would spin and you'd splurt paint on it. I one time woke up and saw this tiny little like, I would call her like a babushka. She was like a Russian grandma, right? And she suddenly turned into one of those and floated across my room and then reappeared at the end of my bed and went, go to sleep.

Danie 7:27
Oh, my goodness.

Carrie 7:28
Whoa, you are not helping

Adam 7:33
Hold on. I grew out of it. And

Carrie 7:34
What is he seeing though, like, he's so scared.

Adam 7:38
Will he talk to you about it. Sorry. It's not my podcast

Carrie 7:42
feel free to jump in. any time yeah, yeah. He doesn't. I don't think he remembers. He says he does, but I don't think he does. I think he's just really kind of embarrassed at the fact that we're like, you were up an talking. He's like, Oh, yeah, no, yeah. Yeah. But then he's like, Don't talk don't talk about him anymore. So I don't I don't think he really remember. ,

Danie 8:00
Well I used to sleep walk. I never had sleep terrors, but I would sleepwalk to the point where it was we have we have a family cabin. And once when I was I don't know, maybe five. My parents heard-- I used to sleep on the couch and my parents heard the door slam. And they my mom was like oh its just the wind my dad was like, I don't think so. And thankfully, he went out to look because I was like out by the woods. Oh, like just walking. He had to like grab me and bring I don't remember any of this. But I used to sleepwalk really bad and actually my mom told me a story once, sorry mom, if you don't want me to share this story. But she also used to sleepwalk and either her or one of her siblings she said would wake up and would pee, they opened the basement door and just like started peeing like the bathroom was there. Yeah. And then went back to bed. So but I as far as I know my mom doesn't do that anymore. So I would say she grew out of it too.

So you grew out of your sleepwalking

I did, cuz I think that was probably one of the last times I did because I don't I be on like five I don't remember any more stories or if they were they just were not you know exciting enough to tell me.

Carrie 9:19
Yeah, I'm hoping this doesn't last long I don't know

Nicole 9:22
I have a feeling it's in the cards for my kid my oldest because well she has as we're talking or as she's sleeping right where before we're going to go to bed we go in and check on her and she like physically moves around a lot which I know is most kids but also she like you she talks in her sleep and she like panics in her sleep. Like we think she's like crying and we run up there and she's just sleeping and she just like doing these like little cries and like talking crying and then the other day my mom was watching her and normally in when she takes a nap she stays in the her bed and then she says when she wakes up Mommy, Daddy, I awake. And then we go in and get her. Well, my mom was watching her and then after nap, she went in there and was like, Wow, she's not saying like anything. It's been a long time. So she goes in there, and she wasn't there. And so my mom's like, oh, shoot, I lost a kid. She goes, my mom goes into our, my and Jared's room. And Mali is just sitting there on the bed. And my mom's like, how did you get here? and Mali just goes, I don't know. Either she's lying to my mom's face. Yeah. Could be, she's at that age. Or she's like, starting to do something. Yeah.

Carrie 10:49
At least if is she is, she's not scared at the same time.

Danie 10:52
Yeah that sounds awful.

Unknown Speaker 10:54
Yeah. Well, if any listeners have any thoughts on what I can do to help him let us know. Yeah,

Danie 11:02
yes. You can write in at Women AF podcast@gmail.com

Carrie 11:07
Or you can reach us on Facebook or Twitter, or Instagram. We're all over the place

Danie 11:14
women a podcast, all the places, everywhere and just help carrie out. You could even give bad advice, really just any advice.

Carrie 11:23
Really we would love just any sort of messages

Danie 11:24
We just want you to talk to us

Nicole 11:28
Just reach out. What about you, Danie, what's been going on?

Danie 11:32
Well, when we were -- so okay, Adam, we did talk one time

Adam 11:39

Danie 11:41
because we are planning a game family game night with all of our families and Carrie brought up drinking and I said I can't drink but I can't tell you anything about it until we're recording.

Nicole 11:53
So tell us why. Why aren't you drinking?

Danie 11:56
Well, Daniel and I both quit drinking because he's pregnant. Just kidding. No, he's not pregnant actually. We quit drinking pretty much at the start of the year, because

Adam 12:10
Daniel Daniel is watching on the live stream right now.

Danie 12:14
Babe, sorry. I gave your secret away. No, we quit drinking because, at least for a while, for several reasons. One is we just wanted to make healthier decisions two, we were finding that we were drinking more and more, whereas kind of like, Oh, I'm gonna have a glass of wine with dinner, I'm gonna have two glasses of wine with dinner. Now I'm going to have another one. And you know, and not so much like it was so much every night but it started to be almost every night. And then we're also doing the Dave Ramsey baby steps to get out of debt. So alcohol is a easy thing to save a lot of money. And then the other thing is I was doing some more research and as I've talked about multiple times, I have a lot of hormonal issues like with diabetes and hashimotos which affects your thyroid and then PCOS, which affects a lot of other hormones. And I was reading that alcohol actually directly impacts your hormones and so I need to see what happens if I don't drink it if it affects me positively because, you know, it's already hard enough that I just don't need to make things harder for myself. So we decided to quit drinking and I also quit dun dun dun diet soda, which is a big deal because I'd say I was way more addicted to that than like anything else.

You love a Coke Zero almost as much as she loves a cherry Pepsi

Nicole 13:42
I love cherry Pepsi, so I feel ya

Danie 13:45
I would fight somebody for one, but I'm not going to, not gonna fight anybody. So that was Those were some really big things for us. So

Nicole 13:53
Do you have like a date in mind that you're going to try and shoot for?

Danie 13:57
We want to try at least a couple of months because it needs to be long enough that I can actually start to see differences. And I recently, I at the same time I started a new medication. So maybe timing was not great to know if it was one or the other. But also this new medication was like really rough. The first two weeks of side effects is extreme nausea and exhaustion and whatever. And so that's me also, I didn't want to eat or drink anything anyway, just because everything made me feel sick. But we're past that now. Which is good. Yeah. And now I don't really, I can't, I don't have any side effects anymore. But it's a lot of the diabetic medication I've been on like outside of just insulin, is like, the first couple weeks you take it, I always get really nauseous. And then it goes away once I guess my body's used to it or whatever. So that's fun.

Carrie 14:45
So it was a good time then to start the not drinking.

Danie 14:47
Yeah and honestly, I don't miss it. That's right, which is

Carrie 14:53
all right. Good for you.

Nicole 14:55
That means is not an addiction. Yeah, like when you don't is it, you know you're not addicted. When I whenever I don't have one soda, I miss it.

Danie 15:04
All right, well, I'm specifically talking about the alcohol I don't miss, I can't say anything about diet soda yet. We're not there yet.

Nicole 15:11
Oh, no. So all right, well, I think it's time. So today what we're going to do is, we're going to talk a little bit about Valentine's Day because I think it's coming up. So before we do that, I think we're gonna go to a quick break.

Adam 15:30
Hi, it's Adam from mortarbox media. I also engineer the podcast you're listening to right now, I want to tell you a little bit about our business. mortar box media provides services for you to help create recordings that engage the audience you're looking for. We have the tools, the know how and the expertise to provide you with not only quality recordings, but help you with providing quality content. We can help you with every step of the process from choosing a name to getting your show out to the masses. We can also provide services for single session recordings as well. So whether you want a one time family history recorded or an ongoing show, find us facebook.com/mortarboxmedia. While you're at it, check out our whiskey podcast called chill filtered and our storytelling podcast called Madison story slam.

Nicole 16:23
And we're back. That was weird, but here we go. So, what I want to talk about today is if we did our math correctly, it This episode is going to come out around right before Valentine's Day

Danie 16:36
I think it's the Wednesday before

Nicole 16:37
Okay, alright, cool. So it's gonna come out the Wednesday before which is awesome. And I wanted to kind of start a conversation which I have a feeling this conversation is going to go on for a few episodes. So in later episodes, we may touch it again, but I want to talk about relationships and exes and all that fun stuff.

Danie 16:59
Carrie's face. She looks really excited to have this conversation. Nicole and I kind of dragged Carrie into this conversation

She looks really excited to have this conversation. Nicole and I kind of dragged Carrie

Carrie 17:05
Fun. Fun stuff

Nicole 17:17
do you not like Valentine's Day? Let's go into it. We got a question. Which would you want? Chocolate flowers or wine? What's your guys's jam

Carrie 17:28

Danie 17:28
Well, now that I've just revealed I'm not drinking okay?

Nicole 17:33
Yeah, True. True. True. True.

Danie 17:34
I would have picked wine. I'm not that much of a fan of candy chocolates.

Nicole 17:38

Danie 17:40
I mean, I like dark chocolate. But most of what's in the boxes I don't really care for

Nicole 17:45
I'm thinking like a Dove chocolate.

Danie 17:47
No, I don't like Dove chocolate

Carrie 17:49
jesus I love all of it

Nicole 17:52
Yeah. Go Carrie

Danie 17:53
Flowers, yeah, it because at this point, that's the only option. I can pick, But what you didn't say which really would have been my pick is a heart-shaped pizza.

Nicole 18:06
Oh I love those too those are good

Danie 18:09
you can only get them like once a year and it's pizza in a fun shape. Yeah it doesn't even have to be a hard it can be any other shape than round or square.

Carrie 18:18
They should start doing other shapes for other holidays.

Danie 18:20
Yeah, like a Christmas tree pizza.

Nicole 18:24

Carrie 18:24

Danie 18:26
A diamond for when you get engaged. Yeah, I'll propose with a pizza. When we renew our vows, I'm gonna pizza-proposal it

Nicole 18:39
Love it. But now he knows dang it. Anyway. Okay, so that's cool. Wait, so Carrie,

Danie 18:46
Wait, what would you pick?

Nicole 18:48
I don't know. I would probably say chocolate. I'm known around, like, my office

Danie 18:53
Known around town?

Nicole 18:54
I'm known around town as the chocolate person. But whenever like that's my that's the way I try and barter with life like if I have a favor, I'm like, I have chocolate. Can you please do this one thing for me, please?

Danie 19:08
Oh, well if someone is bringing me chocolate for bartering purposes.... That reminds me I was. I was doing some Google searching the other day when my blood sugar was low and I was taking notes about the history of Valentine's Day. And I just have to read this one thing that I saw because I've never heard this before, and it was so funny to me. So it says "the holiday has origins in the Roman festival of looper kalea, held in mid February, the festival which celebrates the coming of spring included fertility rites and the pairing off of women with men by lottery." Right. I thought it was about like St. Valentine's and I was like, yeah, women being paired off by lottery? That's definitely not

Nicole 19:58
That sounds like the old school Tinder

Danie 20:05
Somebody invent that dating app, it's just by lottery. And you have to go on a date

Nicole 20:11
You have to go on one date with that person. Yes, I like it. I like it.

Danie 20:16
Are you all a fan of Valentine's Day?

Carrie 20:19
I don't hate Valentine's Day. You guys are already like, oh, Carrie, doesn't like this topic. I don't hate Valentine's Day. I'm not a romantic person at all. I don't like the cheesy stuff. I don't like the sappy stuff. I'm not comfortable with that stuff.

Nicole 20:37
Do you like to watch chick flicks?

Carrie 20:38
Ehhh, not my favorite. Yeah, okay, I'll watch them. Yeah, depends on who's in them. Maybe. But I like Valentine's Day because there's a lot of cool things to me about Valentine's Day. Really because the inner like home ec nerd in me gets to bake treats. Right? Fun, like heart shaped stuff or stuff with red sprinkles on it. And I like to do crafts. I like to make a handmade card. That's what I like it for. I don't like it for the romance. I like it just for like, treats and the crafts, I guess. Because I'm cool, I'm real cool. Yeah. So I love making a nice handmade card. That's really fun.

Nicole 21:24
I like that. That's really cute. What about you, Danie?

Danie 21:27
Well, it's funny that you say that because I feel like I am a romantic and that's why I don't like Valentine's Day.

Nicole 21:33
What do you mean?

Carrie 21:33

Danie 21:34
I feel like at least the stereotypical Valentine's Day is like, so unromantic. I'm going to get this pre made, heart shaped box of you know, whatever and a cheesy card and I now I can check off the box of me doing something romantic for the year because we did Valentine's Day. So now I don't have to make any other effort right? And go to dinner and it's like $200 when normally the same place would have cost you $30. So it's like, I feel like the at least the traditional, stereotypical way to celebrate Valentine's Day is not romantic. However, what we started doing, which I love, is a heart shaped pizza, and a horror movie. So we call it Bloody Valentine's Day. And we invite friends.

Nicole 22:33
I like that. That's really fun.

Carrie 22:36
What about you, Nicole?

Nicole 22:37
Um, so I, I don't I've got like a love hate relationship with Valentine's Day. Okay, because being homeschooled I never had the like, super cute, you're in grade school and you have a little

Carrie 22:53
Your little shoe box you decorated?

Nicole 22:54
And then your crush puts a note in there and it's so cute....Well, I never had that. So I would always

Danie 23:02
Carrie, make her one.

Nicole 23:04
here's what's cute and so nods to Jared but he found out about this and then when we were dating like our first or second Valentine's Day together, he went all out, he bought two packs of those like Valentine's Day, where you write your name like to blah, from blah, and he taped chocolate on them. He wrote in every single one a different nickname for me. And he he put them all in this like this mail, like, you know, his mailbox thing. Oh, yeah, he wrote my name on the mailbox and like he just showed it to me and gave it to me on Valentine's Day and that was really made up for all of grade school. But yeah, I never I never really had that. in grade school in high school. I mean, high school. I feel like it was I don't know. It was still a mystery we have like that. Did you guys ever have in high school, the mystery roses. Yeah, yeah. Did you ever get your true love in there or your crush?

Danie 24:04
No, I never liked or dated anyone at my high school. Oh, really? And actually going back to that elementary conversation Yeah, it was not like required that you had to give one to every kid. Now it is but it was the most stressful day because not everyone got the same amount.

Carrie 24:25
That's terrible.

And some kids didn't get any at all. And then we did those stupid candygrams and it was always a popularity thing.

Yeah, you know, anything like that, like the candy grams or the roses in high school? Yeah. That's just setting people up for embarrassment and uncomfortableness and I hate it. Yeah, absolutely. You should have had to give everyone a Valentine. That's just obvious to me

Come on, teacher in the 80s. I mean the 90s. Sorry. Sorry. I'm thinking of myself.

Danie 24:57
Well, then an extra stress was cheerleader and at my school at least at my grade, the older cheerleaders were cooler but once my grade was like, the main cheerleaders, we were not cool. We actually got made fun of quite frequently, which is... Adam verified that, we went to the same high school.

Nicole 25:16
You guys went to the same high school?

Danie 25:17
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, um, so I was a cheerleader and we just

Adam 25:23
I didn't make fun of you

Danie 25:26
No, Adam did not make fun of me. He just verified that I got made fun of

Carrie 25:30
got it. Thanks for clarifying

Danie 25:33
So, I was a cheerleader and we had to hand out the candy grams and the roses. Oh, which because I was made fun of and not popular and had to give these to the popular people it was,

Nicole 25:49
but then nobody knew how many you didn't get. Like that's why I'd want to hand them out. Make sure

Danie 25:55
True, I'd be like we like look at how many I got and just not give them to the people we were supposed to but in high school, I was very much like, need to do like, I gotta follow the rules or whatever.

Adam 26:08
Yeah. Can I say one more thing? I I don't think that it was so much that and your experience, this is your experience, but I always got the feeling that it wasn't so much that people were making making fun of the cheerleaders. But it was making really more making fun of the fact that our school even had cheerleaders.

Danie 26:29
But can I say something to that? Our cheerleaders competed at state. And we got the biggest trophy. It was in the trophy case. So they made us put it in the art room, because they wouldn't let us put it with the other trophies.

Carrie 26:46
That's so sad.

Danie 26:47
Also to get our new uniforms, they made us do community service. I feel like the cheerleaders at our school just got to shit on a lot. So when we went to a stunting competition It was a four person stunting group and we were all girls cheerleading squad but we competed against coed we got seventh place out of however many in state like that's a big deal, I think we were the highest placed all girls. That's awesome. Somebody fact check me or maybe don't but I'm pretty sure that that's what happened. I believe you. Yeah.

Carrie 27:23
Let's go with it. Yeah, I like it. I like it.

Nicole 27:25
I'm into it. What about you, Carrie, how was your grade school high school experience?

Carrie 27:31
Well, I was thinking specifically about the grade school stuff because I loved that and I'm so sorry you didn't get to do that. Like I loved the decorating of the lil box and everything and walking around and passing it around, that little party. I love that. Those are like the fun Valentine's things to me. Yeah, yeah. After that. I don't have a real specific recollection of Valentine's Day

Nicole 27:56
Were you popular? Did you get a lot of cards

Carrie 27:59
No. In our school I think every you had to get a card to everybody. If I remember correctly. I don't remember feeling hurt that I didn't get any

Danie 28:09
You could tell us that you were popular and we would believe it.

Carrie 28:11
I was. Everybody thought I was like sooo

Danie 28:15
Alright somebody fact check Carrie.

Carrie 28:18
No, don't fact check me, Leave that alone. Yeah, so yeah, those are the those are the fun Valentine's day that I remember.

Nicole 28:27
Did you date anyone in high school? Or college? Did you guys have like, I don't know. Tell me if I'm crazy Grade school. You know, you have like girlfriend boyfriend sometime?

Danie 28:38
Oh, no, no, I was. I was not interested. I was not interested or allowed.

Nicole 28:47
Right. I know. Me either.

Carrie 28:50
It was happening, but not with me.

Danie 28:51
I always had cooties. And I remember when I was 12. My friends were just starting to talk about having crushes on like these other grody little boys in our class and I was like, ew, why?

Nicole 29:09
okay, question #2, here we go. Oh, so this is recent What is that called, the the way you like celebrate the ladies, galentine's day? Do you guys ever do that, you kind of do-ish with your horror...

Danie 29:25
I thought you were going to say whore!

Carrie 29:27
Your whore friends

Danie 29:30
You and your whore friends celebrating Galentine's Day

Nicole 29:34
No, what did you call that? Bloody Valentine's Day! Gosh

Danie 29:41
I don't know I think I want to celebrate the other thing

Nicole 29:47
My face is too red, this is crazy. Do you do that, do you pick the same couple every time?

Danie 29:54
Movies? No we do something different like right now we're working our way through the conjuring universe which has been great. Carrie doesn't do horror movies.

Carrie 30:04
Nope, too scared.

Danie 30:07
I only like the supernatural ones I don't want like the real life ones. Like the home invasion.

Carrie 30:13
Ghosts are the worst ones.

Danie 30:14
Oh, ghosts are the best ones. Those are my favorite

Carrie 30:19
I'll be up for days. No ghosts.

Nicole 30:21
Yeah. Do you guys ever watch the paranormal activity?

Danie 30:24
Oh yeah.

Carrie 30:25

Nicole 30:25
So we watched. We watched that me and Jared watch that one and then there was a horror movie where everyone invaded the house and I was more scared of that one and I couldn't sleep at night and then my husband was more scared of the paranormal activity one so together we just never slept for like a month.

Danie 30:46
We saw all of the paranormal activity and the last one where there's like, you know those little doors? Yeah, yeah, I know what I'm talking about, like their little storage area. Yeah. Well in the movie, like the girls Play in there. And I can't remember the name of the entity or whatever. But like, Yeah, he lived in there. Right? So anyway, so we're visiting some friends of ours. They had a little door, and her daughters would play in there. And there was like stickers and stuff. And I was like, Oh, that looks like that what that entity lives in. Are you sure? No, like demonic presence in your house? She told me later. This is years ago, and they don't even live in that house anymore. But show me later. Like, for the next month, she's like, I had to pray over the door. And every time I went to my basement, I was like, wait,

Carrie 31:42
Way to go, Danie, don't do that. Yeah. I like how we get sidetracked from the romance talk to horror.

Danie 31:50
I think that's pretty on par with our feelings about Valentine's Day. You and your whore friends.

Nicole 32:00
Okay, so tell me about some relationships kind of on par with Valentine's Day. How were, so we talked about grade school. How were high school relationships? You said you you date you never dated in high school.

Danie 32:12
No, I had a boyfriend in high school. But he lived in Rockford which was an hour and a half from where I live for a couple reasons. One, our school was very small. So the selection was not great. Yeah, like we were limited, right? Also, it was one of those situations where like, you knew everybody, and like you'd bet like this because there's not that many people. It's like, okay, these are the same people I've been hanging out with since fourth grade. Like if anything was going to happen, it would have happened. There's not a lot of change up here. Anyway, so I met my boyfriend at summer camp. Okay, and we, it was actually my fiance, which this story gets, we'll keep it on a positive note. So we won't talk about the breakout. That'll be for later in the episode. The funniest, the funniest. Okay, so as I was telling you earlier before we started recording, like this was the boyfriend that I had before you knew what red flags were? Yeah, like what to look. So like I had no, I had low self confidence. Yeah, I had no real perspective because I'd never had at that point he was my third boyfriend but my first boyfriend I dated for one month and we held hands one time. It was very risque. And then I dated his brother for we went to a dance together, actually, and then I dated another farm boy but all of these were from my youth group, which was like also 45 minutes away cuz we went to a friend of ours and they were all like these farm boys and not that there's anything wrong with farm boys, but like, the in terms of like, schedule, like you're not gonna go hang out at night, because they wake up at 4, right so like there's more really hanging out. We saw each other youth group like that was essentially our relationships. You can't hold hands at youth group. Like maybe when we went to Culver's afterwards, we would sit next to each other in a booth. Like that's like the extent of my relationship experience at the time. And so I started dating this guy, you know, would go down and visit him. And because he lived far away, my parents would let me stay there as long as because his bedroom was in the basement, so I'd stay upstairs by where his mom's bedroom was. Anyway, so I went down for Valentine's Day, it was going to be this big thing. It was like, I was probably 16. So I had to be 16 if I drove so I was at least 16. And we went down. It was like my first big Valentine's date. I never really had one before. And so he's like, I'm gonna and here's the other thing that makes us funnier is he was two years younger than me. So he would have been 14, just to make more interesting story. So we He's like, I'm gonna take you To Applebee's. Yeah, yeah, the big time I've been saving up, whatever. So we get there and he were sitting down and ordered the pitcher of Mountain Dew with two straws. And he's like, Hey, I just you know, my friend wants to come. So my friends gonna come join us and I was like, Wait, what? And so like his friend, also 14, decides to come hang out with us on Valentine's Day boy or girl boy. Okay, at Applebee's. So his friend comes. And I'm now it's a party of three.

Wait, so you were driving?

I was I was driving the only the only driver right but his friend like walked or whatever. Okay. Anyway, so now this party of three now we have three straws in the Mountain Dew pitcher. Very romantic. So, and we order and you know, it's great. And, you know, I'm like, wow, he's paying so I'm like, willing to ignore the fact that he invited a friend

Carrie 36:00
Sure. It's easy to ignore that extra person just sitting there

Danie 36:03
Again, I don't know red flag is not a date is not a big deal. Because again first Valentine's Day, right? So it's just exciting. And then the check comes and he makes a big flourish to go for his wallet. And then his face turns a little bit white and he goes, I forgot my money. Can you pay?

Carrie 36:26
Of course he did. Wow. Oh, no

Danie 36:30
Because of course, his friend was expecting a free ride. Yeah. So I ended up paying. I ended up driving his friend home. Wow. And then I went and hung out with his mom.

Nicole 36:44
Did you tell her what he did?

Danie 36:46

Nicole 36:47
You should have.

Danie 36:48
Because in my head, it still doesn't occur to me that this is not how this should have gone but yeah, it was like, looking back, right?

Carrie 36:58
How long did you date, this guy then after

Danie 37:00
five years

Carrie 37:01
Whoa, whoa,

Danie 37:02
We broke up when I was 21.

Carrie 37:05
Wow. All right. I wasn't expecting that answer.

Danie 37:07
So it was like, we had just started dating. Okay. Okay, maybe a couple months in. Okay. Okay. All right. No would have been long. No, it would have been longer than that because we would have started in the summer. I guess I dated him a little more than five years. .

Carrie 37:21
Wow. Please tell me Valentine's Days got better after that? .

Danie 37:27
I have no recollection of any other Valentine's Day with him. Got it. So clearly,

Carrie 37:33
they were amazing.

Danie 37:38
So that that's my high school Valentine's experience. Yeah.

Nicole 37:42
Oh, gosh. That's gonna be fun to top. I can't do that Dang it.

Carrie 37:49
Like I don't remember anything from high school. The only I was trying to think back sorry, you know, yeah, talk in this episode. And the only thing I was like I remember roommate in college and I, I think we made dinner for our boyfriends at home one time. and I was like so I had to I had to message her cuz I couldn't really remember the details of course she knew all the details my memory's shot guys it's totally shot. I blame it on all the Ambien yeah we we plan the dinner, she sent me a picture of the recipe she still has like the recipe and she knew like what we made and everything. And we you know, make dinner we fancied the place up and had candles and we got dressed up and we moved the kitchen table into the living room because our kitchen was too small. We were like living in a little house and you know, in college and moved that in there and like got it all fancy and had like a nice dinner. And I'm like, Okay, well, like obviously, what I can remember of this Valentine's Day is like all the fun I had with my friend. That's my takeaway

Danie 39:02
Clearly the guys were very memorable.

Carrie 39:06
I mean, you know, my boyfriend at the time was great. And we dated for a while and everything but like the fun parts were the parts hanging with my roommate. And I loved it. That's what I remember about it because she's still in my life. She's still one of my closest friends, you know?

Danie 39:21
So it's kind of like Galentine's Day, plus 2

Carrie 39:27
Who, in the end didn't really matter.

Danie 39:30
Right, so it's like you guys were on a fun date and then you invited some guys.

Carrie 39:37
That was my best Valentine's Day. I guess. It's all I can remember that's all

Nicole 39:42
that's a good one too. I like that.

Danie 39:44
What's your memories

Nicole 39:47
Let's see, I don't have a ton of Valentine's Day besides my cute husband, but that was later. right um, but I think if I remember right? There was, so I never dated in high school because I had like a, you know, an overprotective dad. So I never I was always too scared to say I was dating anybody, but I was like

Were you secretly dating anybody?


Danie 40:19
That was a ... that means yes!

Nicole 40:23
Well, I, also remember I was homeschooled. So like, I didn't really understand boys. I didn't understand like, I didn't understand what I was supposed to do.

Carrie 40:29
No one understood boys

Danie 40:30
Right, I don't think I do now.

Nicole 40:34
So I would I think I was a sophomore. And I was still super shy. I was still like, scared of life. And I would every single day like wait for my mom to come pick me up from work or from school. And I would be waiting with this guy and I got really close with him and all we did was we would share like 10 minutes while we were both waiting for our parents. come pick us up and but we like it was every single day and then I said something about Valentine's Day and and he knew I love soda because obviously I love brought this like two liter of soda and I didn't tell anybody like where I got it from and so my dad assumed it was a boy because obviously and then from then on my dad would always be like are you hanging out with pop boy

How Midwestern is that

to this day my dad still is like you remember that pop boy guy? Like

Danie 41:50
Wait, wait wait the pop as in p o p yeah

Nicole 41:53
What'd you think I said?

Danie 41:56
I heard pot with a T.

Nicole 42:03
No, he's a pop boy pop soda pop

Carrie 42:11
like how old were you when that happened?

Nicole 42:12
I was what 15, 14

Carrie 42:16
so I'm just like picturing that like 141, 5 year old boy like goin to the store

Nicole 42:21

Danie 42:23
that's a big move in high school

Nicole 42:25
And it was at the end of the day so he was hiding a two liter in his locker or his backpack for a whole day. Yeah, I don't know we were We were kind of on and off for a while we were never official I was always too scared

Danie 42:41
what's on and off like when he just sometimes give you pop?

Nicole 42:47
No, like we ah what would we... We would just talk a lot. We of course we were like, Instagram people.

Danie 42:55
Wait, and there was Instagram when you were in high school?

Nicole 42:59
like the dial up Instagram like AOL,

Danie 43:01
Wait, what's dial up Instagram

Carrie 43:03

Nicole 43:03
AOL like where you had to dial

Danie 43:05
Oh not Instagram you mean instant messenger.

Nicole 43:08
like a chat? Yeah.

Danie 43:10
Okay. Yeah, got it. I got it. I'm on board now

Carrie 43:15
You said Instagram. Yeah.

Nicole 43:18
Did I say Instagram?

Adam 43:22
you said Instagram several times. That's why this whole room was just confused

Nicole 43:28
Instant messaging, that's what I meant

Adam 43:33
you guys know you guys know dial up Instagram

Danie 43:42
If you had somebody on your AIM

Nicole 43:46
It was legit

Danie 43:47
That's legit. Having somebody in your chat is legit

Nicole 43:50
yeah and I would like cuz of course everyone knows youre online like if your parents try and pick up the phone and you can tell someone's online somewhere,

Carrie 44:01
the good old days

Nicole 44:03
and I would definitely like after I said I'm going to bed, not go to bed and like, chat them all night

Adam 44:11

Nicole 44:16
Well, I think we need to wrap this up because I can't get more embarrassed, calling it Instagram all night

Danie 44:23
Well, maybe if anyone has a fun Valentine's Day story, you can send us an instant message or an email or find us on the actual, find us on the dialup instagram. Women. AF podcast, Twitter, our Twitter, Women AF podcast us

Carrie 44:45
Tweet us tweet us tweet

Danie 44:48
you can send us an email at WomenAFpodcast com No. Women, AF podcast@gmail.com. There we go. Or at the Contact Us page on our website. Which is womenafpodcast.com. and if you send us a Great story we may read it on air

Carrie 45:02
yeah I'd love to read a story somebody send a story

Danie 45:06
because we will we will read it

Nicole 45:09
Don't let me read it though cuz I'm gonna butcher it

Danie 45:11
we're gonna make Nicole read it

Nicole 45:13
I'm gonna say wrong

Danie 45:15
Which will make it even more entertaining

Nicole 45:19
all right well I think that wraps it up. um this is, what is our ending. I got this ok,

Carrie 45:27
hey we changed it

Nicole 45:30
It's not we hope... okay I got this I got this

Carrie 45:31
you got this do it

Nicole 45:33
we're Women AF and we know you are too

Carrie 45:47
women AF is produced by mortar box media and engineered by Adam Rostad intro and outro music is SQZ by Shane Ivers check them out at Silvermansound.com and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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